Diminishing Identity

NOTE: "This entry is not to hurt anyone. It is just my perspective"

There had been days when girls were yearning to have mangal sutra around their neck, kum kum or sindhoor on top of their forehead, I mean waiting to get married. They had pictured these as a symbol of beauty besides it being the symbol of identity of married women. By the tradition of South India, Mangal sutra and the toe ring had been the sacred ornament. In these days of the stylish era, it is being worn as just an ornament. How many of us know its importance and preserve it? So why is the toe ring worn?? Are we wearing for the purpose of it?

In the words of my Granny,” In olden days, girls wore mangal sutra and the guys wore the toe ring. While commuting on roads, the women wore mangal sutra visible to others and to walk on the street heading downwards, and men would wear the toe ring, so when a married women catches a sight of a man with ring on his toe, she would move away and the guy on looking at the mangal sutra would give her way to go.”

In those days, a toe ring were made only of silver and as gold was considered as the form of goddess Lakshmi, so was looked upon as a disrespect to wear it below the waist. But which is not deliberated in the world of fashion today.

We always like to have pleasant sounds at our house. For example the wind chimes which produce a melodious rhythm, fills s with joy. Similarly, there is a common belief that clashing sound of toe rings chases away evil spirit and brings wellness for the family members.

There is also another belief on medical insight on wearing toe ring is that it regularizes the menstrual cycle of married women. A specific nerve from the second toe connects uterus and heart. So while walking, friction caused by this nerve gives energy to reproductive organs.

This toe ring is gifted to the bride by her uncle after the sacrificial rites, who has a significant importance in the her life. After this, the groom holds the bride’s big toe and takes seven steps to affirm their relationship as friends for life.

So with all these significance in it, do all of us practice and cherish its values? Here is a little comparison with a foreign culture, the English ones. If a guy or girl finds their soul mate, they get to know them in person, understand them, go around dating and stuff till they magically decide to hold their hands. But when asking for her hand, the guy approaches her with a ring and asks, “Will you marry me?” on a perfect evening in all due respects. And the girl on deciding to marry the guy wears the ring as a symbol of love and an identity of their relationship all through their lifetime together. They do have their identity where ever they go irrespective of their lifestyle.

These days, toe rings have become an ornament rather than an identity. Let we not be too orthodox and walk with our heads facing down on roads but it is our duty to preserve our tradition and culture. So wearing it in silver or gold or enameled is not the concern, wearing it is of great importance and will give us the pride of carrying our tradition in whichever lifestyle we be.

Kaju Almond Katli

I made this for my Hubby's Birthday. It came out well that people commented it tastes like the one from the sweet stall. Thanks to all.. Here is the recepie.

Ingredients:

Equal amount of cashew and almond (here 1:1)
2 cups of sugar
2 cups of water
Sliced almond - to garnish


Procedure:
- Soak almond in water and peel the skin
- Grind them into fine powder (as it s wet, it will leave some pieces unground)
- grind the cashew finely (as dry)
- Mix these and roast them in medium fire till it gives out aroma and colour changes to light golden brown
- Romove it from the heat and keep it aside
- Boil water and add sugar to it for about 15 min setting haet as high (till slight kambi padham, it s one thread syrup)
- In another vessel, preferably the coated one, add the mixture and add the syrup while it s hot and stir it in medium fire.
- Continue stirring till it comes as whole (surrundu vara varaikkum)
- Put it on a greased plate and let it cool
- Once it is half way cool, u can make it into desired shape..
- Slice almonds and decorate it on each piece.


Do try this and post your experience. Thanks for reading :)

I Just Turned Back:

The years have just turned two fold since I came out of college. As I converse with my friends, they say about their career, situations at home and, we gossip just as we did when we were in college. It is truly hard to believe that time is the one and only factor that never stops for anything, may it be our laziness, relationships, sentiments, whatever…

We would have had a completely different standpoint of life during that stage, dreaming most of the time though we might have piles of assignments to be completed, and chit chatting with friends for long hours over absolute nothing. It’s hard to believe our viewpoint of life has completely changed for each one of us from that. People say we see the real world after college. That’s very true indeed. All our dreams don’t come true, for some of us only a few of it, and for some none of it. A few ones’ carrier might change, a few don’t get anything called a career, and a few just accept the one coming along their way. Just as we evoke the sensational life of college days with our friends, we get drenched in the sensitivity of misplaced at present. Soon either of the conversationalists drags us into reality and wonder saying, “Just three years before, we were worrying about our internals, resolving our tiff with the roomie, but now we have become more responsible with no time to look back”.

This is absolute truth, now when I speak with my friends, I speak about my accomplishments in the kitchen and they speak about the pending deployment plans. Crazy life, for ex: It flings two friends who were class mates, studying the same notes into extremely discordant paths. That was certainly the “Spring Season” of our lives.

AWAITING YOU….

It has been quite a wait, then dawned a beautiful morning. I was excitingly heading towards the airport. I never stopped showing my excitement to my dear one who was driving and showing his excitement too. Parents are arriving from INDIA… WOW!! No sooner did I see them waiting with their luggage, my heart was bouncing with joy. I ran towards them and hugged them tightly; there peeped a tear of happiness and relief. A sigh of relief came up as I have got a full time company, a soul to care for me, help me in cooking, and kill time in a better way. And towards our way back home, they were explaining about their travel experiences. I was in turn recapping my experiences to them.

It was a beautiful summer, with the breakup of daytime silence. Our home was filled with care, love, affection even more as there were two more to contribute. We happily went around showing them the places around, having a beautiful and a peaceful walk. They enjoyed the sight of new country filled with a lush of green everywhere. Of course they dint feel the heat as it is comparatively low from the homeland. We enjoyed our weekends, visiting a few lakes around, showing them the Indian temple here. I enjoyed the whole day with them expelling loneliness out of my way which was better than pushing the loneliness out of the house by myself all through the day till the evening. Getting new tips in cooking, learning basic stuffs which I was unaware these days was an exciting learning experience which I had missed immediately after my marriage. Chitchatting the day with various topics that ran across our minds, and I was never idle and I liked it. It was indeed a beautiful summer.

But when are they coming here? Expecting them soon!! Expecting and waiting to experience all those I had quoted above which are only a few of all my wishes. We are waiting for you!! This is dedicated to both of our parents. We really miss you and our country..

The Saline Elixir.

 It was a gloomy day, began with a mild friction. Rome was not built in a day. Similarly is our character and perspective. Though we change our perspective, the previous behavior doesn’t seem to leave its roots. Idle mind is a devil’s workshop proves right many a times. Even though we try to stay with the present, we are reminded of our faults and unachieved destinations. Our friends will not want to hurt us, but pacifying the mind about an inexistent situation, pours the evil of pessimism and brings that alive. I hope every one of us would have experienced the same ripples of feeling low in our minds. What can be the remedy? Where can I find it?

A skimp of comparison at these situations will pour oil into the flame. Whom can we lean on? Our loved ones? Our soul mate? But if they are not beside you at that instant? Our heart will cry...” Oh why is there anybody with me? Will anybody be with me if I am upset? Or will I be in solitude?” It found shelter under the eyelids and besought the tears. It might be looked upon us as a faint-heart. But she is the one who lends us her shoulder to soak up our fear, low-esteem and pessimism. I (heart) never told her my pain, my pricking confusion, but I spoke with her through her (tears). She listened to me in silence. After a jiffy, i felt at ease, the clouds had cleared off its place. I realized what should be done to make the best out of the situation instead of grieving over the inexistence. This is when the mind which was in sleep under the shadow of clouds, took over the power.

The healing mother “Nature” gives the best booster dose. Even when she is silent, heals our pain and brings back the charm in us. What if we look at a rainbow extending her arms wide enough to embrace us with brightness filled in her? She unveils her beauty which gets us dumbstruck to such an extent that we forget the wound. Whenever you feel like crying do not stop, if not in public, do it at the restroom, shed her out and she is sure to bring in the ease.

ARE WE THERE YET???

A discipline might be a sour pill for a school going kid, but how about the so-called adults? There are certain situations where it can’t be overlooked. The most important discipline is the one on road. This not only includes the travellers through vehicles, it also constitutes the pedestrians. I had cited my experience on this topic in one my previous post, “Taking on Death”. We would have heard people of different states in India boasting about the worsening of road discipline at their home towns. These are not going to serve any better for the condition. This is an attempt to compare the situations with the so-called super-power, United Sates.


The proper steps taken towards discipline are, neatly laid roads based on the population, importance of the locality i.e. highway or freeway, dividing the roads as lanes, maintenance of roads, separate pathway for pedestrians and cyclists. Strict and mandatory rules for travel, like the use seat belts, children seats, and lane discipline are being imposed. Here speed signs are posted along the road at certain distance, driving higher than the posted speed limit is a felony. We do not even have speed signs posted in our roads. The speed on the highway is much higher in comparison with our country; this is made possible with neatly laid roads and lane discipline. Though the speed of travel is greater, proper adherence to the rules will help us reach our destination on time without any hassle. The speed limits are a minimum of 65 MPH, and it has to be followed on the highway. Travelling at a lower speed is illegal. Cops are assigned at various places and check the speed of vehicles with speed guns using laser to detect the speed. If we over speed, the cop will charge us immediately, and trying to flee the cops is a felony and the punishment might go till imprisonment. Along the roads, sign boards have been posted to warn, inform or to regulate the traffic. Highest priority is given in the order of pedestrians, bicyclists, motorists. Sharing the road with others is insisted and mutual respect for the co-travellers is given. These remind me of the incidents in India, people in a car would look down at the pedestrians and motorists. The elderly are given great respect while crossing the road here, the vehicles should stop well before the crossway and wait till they pass completely and they must not be disturbed by horns, while in India; they would be mocked at by the motorists and swing away close by them. A rule is laid said that it is against law to pass by an accident scene without offering help and this might lead to the revocation of license. Another amazing aspect is the importance for the physically challenged. Separate parking slots will be assigned to them near the entrance of the shop or mall, and others who try to misuse this would be heavily fined. Most of the parking lots, signals, crossways will be monitored with surveillance cameras and so nobody can escape the eyes of the Law. The cops cannot be bribed here, whereas in India, cop will forgive you if you bribe him for your mistake. I experienced this recently, I was in the bike with my hubby and we reached the main road before realizing it was a one-way. The traffic police stopped us and asked for explanation, we explained the case as a matter of urgency. When we asked for forgiving, he asked us what can be done, and asked us fine of 50 bucks. We gave him; he pretended to the public as if he was fining us legally, but slid the money into his pocket and left us. When is this going to close? Even the petty one of maintaining a standard distance between two vehicles is being followed. These laws here does not ensure washout of accident cases, but it will remarkably reduce the risk of an accident. There are certain exception here too who don’t care to follow “strict rules” but they are sure to be fined. In our country, laws have been laid by the government such as,

* Wearing a helmet in 2003-04

* Wearing a seat belt in 2005-06

* Plying of heavy vehicles within city limits during the day was banned in 2005.

* Lane discipline was enforced in 2007.

But only a few follow the rules. This is one of the few disciplines in life to be learnt from them.

Perspective turnover at the First Encounter:

A refreshing, much-awaited, long time dreamt period for every girl. Entry of a so called stranger into my life, gave a new experience for lifetime. A sense of objection, trying to pull me back from opening up, something tells me from within to watch out, be matured, give your best impression, and though have never been clever enough to be so. To the surprise, the first conversation ever, brought the sense of ease, broke the ice barrier, and gave a friendly impression of the person. Though was angry as I had to miss the get-together with my friends and he was the sole reason for it, these thoughts vanished after the first conversation. Was he smart enough to impress me or do I really like him from within? This kept ringing in my mind. The sense of nervousness to meet my future in-laws, a fear of rejection, preparing my mind to take up anything was the toughest task. Well-wishers advising the way I should present myself, things to be clarified, suggestions to speak with him, my inner voice agitating me and the mind trying to control me. There came the awaited ones, amongst the fanfare created by my kith and kin. I was eager to look at him in person, a sigh of relief bringing me closer to him. The second barrier is also shattered, his friendly nature and gesture put me at ease, a very amicable person and friendly to hang out with, was the impression he inscribed in me. It was an impact, was it because of the gaga created by my kinsmen or have I really been floored by his entry? Nothing occurred as per the fear; everything had fallen into place as it has been destined to. My in-laws were happy with me, my fellow men awaiting my green signal, my foremost priority of friendliness was fulfilled and I too passed on with a green signal. 
It all started there, though only the first step was completed, we felt very good with each other and started conversing over the phone. The excitement was at its pinnacle about the new relation in the pipeline, both of us were ready to open up and give out our views about our perspective of life. It was surprising to know that he was almost the same as me, this changed the first perspective of me and I was not a believer of horoscope and stuff. We were told that our horoscopes matched for about 90%, i.e., the maximum extent possible. It was when I started believing in destiny and time. Everything fell right into place and I started looking forward to life, having been hit by recession, rejection and disappointment, I was leading to life just for the sake. This new change of route brought a refreshing change in me, started to learn my future aspects, like cooking, house maintenance, understanding my guy, giving him the best company he expects out of me. This start has given me a good reason to live my life to the fullest with new hopes and beliefs. Every girl will encounter this excitement and it is truly a golden period and will help to prepare for the next stage of life. A period of instability creating a potpourri of emotions and causing the fleet of butterflies in stomach. A new person’s entry into our life and the fear of leaving my parents fighting in my heart. This is the best and exciting part of women’s life.